I probably should have posted this a long time ago, but I created a new blog to replace this one. Head over to thewhitepagesblog.com to check it out!
On Being Married February 25, 2013
We have been married for almost five years. We have been together for almost ten years. And sometimes I have to remind myself how much I. Love. Caleb. It’s easy to forget. To not feel it. Some days are feel it days. Other days are choose it days.
Other things I’m learning from marriage:
You can be in a room together. Or. You can be. In a room. Together.
Sometimes I think I have Caleb figured out. And then I realize I don’t. People are complex and must be invested in fully to be learned and best loved. One layer understood reveals a whole new layer to understand. This takes conscious effort.
He can’t complete me. It really is a romantic notion, but it has never once helped a situation when I expect Caleb to heal my deep hurts or be the answer to my discontentment.
That being said, life makes more sense when we walk it together. “I can’t fix it for you, only God can do that. But, I will hold your hand and walk through it with you.” -17 year old Caleb White
Holding hands is important.
It’s always a good idea to voice the deep things you know about someone else. Being known is one of the more beautiful aspects of marriage.
The words “fair” and “marriage” are not helpful together. Sometimes it’s not fair. That’s what it means to give yourself.
For example, sometimes you have date plans. And sometimes you forget to put gas in the car even though your husband reminded you to, and sometimes you run out of gas with the kids in the car because you didn’t listen to your husband. Then your date plans are “ruined” and you are dramatic and say, “Date night is officially not happening!” And sometimes your husband is gentle and kind (even though if it was him that forgot the gas you would have been…not so gentle and kind) and reminds you from grace that it’s not the what that matters for date night, it’s the who. And sometimes you are glad that your husband is so very different than you, even though you sometimes get frustrated with him for it. This is all hypothetical, of course.
What are the important relationships in your life teaching you?
Bandwagons February 22, 2013
Caleb and I are people pleasers. So much so that we often don’t share our opinions, especially opinions on hot topic sorts of issues. But we do have opinions. Usually moderate, I can see both sides sort of opinions. Probably because we are people pleasers. This is getting redundant. Welcome to the world of people pleasing.
This post isn’t about any of those opinions. It’s actually about stuff we’ve been liking lately, and that sort of opinion doesn’t make me want to pee my pants when I think about sharing it with you.
Without further ado, here are the bandwagons we’re on:
Short hair. Lovin’ it.
Duck Dynasty. I can’t lie. That stuff is funny.
Downton Abbey. Am I the only one that thought everyone was watching “downtown” abbey? Now I am less confused. P.S. Caleb likes it too.
Kale. We put it in everything. Spaghetti, fried rice, stir fry, soup, eggs, brownies…not really on that last one. But maybe…
Ikea. Coffee table, bookcase, shelves, and miscellaneous other delights have recently graced our home from this lovely store.
Tea Source. Evening in Missoula. I drink at least two cups a day.
House hunting. Should we, should we not? We’re still praying through it, but man, it’s fun to look at houses.
EOS. Best chapstick evah.
The Story. Our church is reading through this condensed, chronological version of the Bible and it’s making sense of so much biblical history for both of us.
And last but not least, green smoothies. I generally don’t make a lot of smoothies, because the ingredients are expensive, and they don’t go far in this house. I will make an exception, however, if it means I can get
Corban myself to drink a glass of spinach. Here’s our cheap fruit, no dairy version :).
1 frozen banana
1 mango, pitted, cubed, and frozen
1 cup 100% pineapple juice
1/2 cup almond milk
A couple handfuls of spinach (about 2 cups)
Blend up your smoogie. Yes, smoogie. Corban told me he loves smoogies. He also loves smoochies.
This little munchkin is in kahoots with her tiny hands (and CLAWS..that child’s mother should really clip those nails!). They have been scheming to rip my hair out. Maybe she’s trying to fill in some of her own? She does have this wicked bald spot. Regardless, I would like to hold and cuddle my baby without fear for my scalp. I started growing my hair out after Corban was born so i could do all sorts of cool braidy things with it, but alas, it is time for that three year project to end. Don’t try to talk me out of it. My mind is made up. Bye, bye long hair that’s too thick for me to braid, anyway.
I don’t get attached to my hair the way some people do. I actually enjoy the thrill of just chopping it off. Fresh starts. New beginnings. Sometimes I get so caught up in the excitement of new that I forget about the next day freak out that ALWAYS happens, and its not just hair cuts. Eventually I settle into the newness and enjoy the change, but there’s always that moment. Did I make the right choice?
So I need help choosing. Anybody who knows something about hair and face shape and…stuff (or who doesn’t and just has an opinion) want to help me decide what to do with it? That way, when I freak out and decide I look like a boy, I have something to lean on. To better inform your choice, it would help you to know that it’s seriously thick and sort of wavyish. I found these three styles that I like. Ready, go!
My Corban February 18, 2013
We’ve had the same bedtime routine with Corban since he was 3 months old. About a year ago, Corban began getting bored (the bored thing he gets from me) with the same carefully chosen songs we had sung to him every night for two years. We had to start getting creative, as he has a definite opinion on which songs are “in” and which are “out”.
It’s actually quite frustrating, the will of this small little person. His choices so often make no sense to me at. all. We are currently singing the theme song to Thomas And Friends which I learned specifically so I didn’t have to keep making up songs about Thomas every night. That’s not my thing. Thomas and Friends is followed by Be Careful Little Eyes What You See, but Caleb changed the words because he didn’t think the original had any grace in it (Corban gets his affinity for the specific from his father). We then say the Lord’s Prayer (Corban is adamant about “trespasses” not “sins”. What? You’re two!), pray for his heart, and finish with Go Tell It On the Mountain. A Christmas song.
The older Corban gets, the more I’m realizing that I don’t get to choose who he is, what he’s passionate about, or how he expresses himself. I’m also learning that without boundaries, he gets completely lost in his own emotion,
unawareness hyperawareness, and inexperience (hmm..that sounds familiar). I feel like we’re in this place of learning him, guiding his strengths, helping him understand his weaknesses, and most importantly, instilling truth in his heart that will seep into his everyday. It’s hard work, folks.
It’s Tradition February 15, 2013
Im not really a do the same thing twice kinda gal, much less a do the same thing over and over kinda gal. I tend to prefer getting confused and screwing up something new to repeating a project (book, recipe, movie) over and over. Apparently I bore easily. Sometimes I envy those who find joy in repetition. If I could read books multiple times or watch movies more than once, I think I’d be a lot smarter and may even be able to quote movies. Generally I’m lost when it comes to the movie quoting game, which is fine by me, because usually I find it annoying. However, quoting books would make me feel learned (pronounce learn-ed and you will feel more intelligent).
As our family grows, I am being challenged by my distaste for repetition. There’s something about tradition, by definition a continued pattern, that builds family identity and makes us feel a part of something bigger than ourselves. I want that for our family. It’s grounding. We need a bit of grounding sometimes.
We’re not huge into Valentine’s Day, but we are huge into family and building home and making memories. I like a good excuse to celebrate the special things. Last year we had Valentine’s breakfast for dinner and we did it again this year. I did change up the menu, and this year totally won. Tradition with a bit of flexibility – I can handle that.
Caleb kept asking Corban if he was excited for Valentine’s dinner and Corban was adamant every time, “It’s Breakfast daddy!” Caleb likes to tease.
On the menu: French Toast Towers, Twisted Spicy Bacon, and Farm Fresh Scrambled Eggs with Chives and Dill
French Toast Towers (sans gluten and dairy, if you wish)
A conglomeration of recipes inspired by this picture.
1/3 cup coconut milk
6 oz chocolate chips
Warm the milk on the stove and pour over chocolate. Let sit five minutes and then stir.
1 can full fat coconut milk (or cream)
A dash of vanilla
1 T sugar
Chill the can of coconut milk in the fridge as soon as you remember ;). The longer the better. Flip upside down, open the can, and pour off the watery liquid. Scoop the solid coconut cream out into a mixing bowl and beat on high (stand or hand mixer) until peaks form. It won’t be as stiff as cream, but it should have substance. Add vanilla and sugar and beat until combined.
Make your favorite French toast recipe (we love ATK), and if you’re feeling fancy use a heart shaped cookie cutter for festive shaped bread. We used Udi’s gluten free bread and subbed sweet rice flour for the all purpose to make it gluten free, and we switched out almond milk and coconut oil for the milk/butter to make it dairy free. You can keep the French toast warm in the oven at 250.
BUILD YOUR TOWER. This is the best part, and the kiddos love it. Spread some chocolate on a piece of french toast, sprinkle with berries and syrup, and top with a bit of coconut cream. Sandwich another piece of french toast on top and repeat with the toppings. Top with a final piece of french toast and garnish. Or you could just keep going.
Seriously. This is good stuff. Once a year kinda stuff, but good stuff.
Happy Valentine’s Day from the Whites!
Bag Lady February 11, 2013
Caleb has started calling me the bag lady lately. I resisted at first, but if I’m being honest, it’s true. I am the bag lady. On a normal day I have my purse, which is really a bag, the diaper bag, breast pump, and a food (lego, book, extra underwear) bag. I also have long hair, which gets caught up in all those bag straps. Inevitably I try and untangle my hair only to lose the straps of at least two of my bag lady bags. Usually I also have a carseat in the crook of my other arm and a preschooler
at my feet running and growling in my wake. The straps fall halfway down my arm, I get all flustered, try and put them back on my shoulder only for my hair to get caught again and the whole charade replays itself.
Bag Lady is also a song by Erykah Badu that came out when I was 13. I only know this because I googled “bag lady”. Erykah told me, “Bag Lady you gone hurt your back dragging all them bags like that…one day those bags gone get in your way.” And she’s right. My back hurts. And my bags are in my way.
If you haven’t figured it out yet, I’m not just talking about bags. Sometimes it seems easier to juggle the bags and get tangled up in the straps when I really just need to reorganize my stuff and cut my hair. I choose the familiarity and “convenience” of the weighty baggage to the (potentially difficult) process of letting go of junk and starting fresh.
Lately I’ve felt a stir in my heart that says drop the bags. Let them go.
This is a spiritual thing.
It is also a biblical principle.
Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest (Matthew 11:28). Let us throw off everything that hinders (Hebrews 12:1). Cast your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you (1 Peter 5:7).
Now I wrestle with how.
Photo credit: ~jjjohn~ / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-ND