The White Pages

Our Dirty Laundry October 2, 2008

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If you would have asked me before we were married what we would argue about most after we were married, I would have told you time.  I am a HUGE quality time person, it is how I feel loved, how I connect with God, how I connect with people.  When we were engaged, we argued all the time – we call it our “learning how to have conflict period”, though this probably started about a year before we got engaged.  What we mostly argued about was how much time we were – or rather weren’t – spending together.  Mostly it was me.  Probably because I’m much more confrontational – and by much more I mean Caleb will do anything for anybody to avoid conflict.  Except the dishes. 

The last thing I thought we would argue about is cleaning.  Neither one of us are neat freaks – I mean, I prefer organized, but I can handle it if things are a little unorganized.  I can’t handle dirty, and clutter makes me anxious, but by no means does our apartment have to be spotless or perfect.  Once Caleb starts cleaning, the man can’t stop, and he would also prefer things clean, but often doesn’t notice when they aren’t.  So, much to my surprise, the thing that brings up the most conflict in this apartment lately (almost 4 months from the “I do’s”) is CLEANING.  Who cleaned what last and who’s turn is it now – I made dinner so it’s only fair for you to do the dishes.  Well, I did the dishes last time and the time before (dishes will be a theme, we both HATE doing them) so it’s your turn tonight.  I always do the laundry, so can’t you just do the dishes?    Seriously, we can’t find anything more important to fight about.  Why is it that the everyday, nit picky little things spark incredible disagreements?