I feel like there’s a lot going on right now – which is a far cry from how I felt even a month ago. Maybe there’s less going on then I think, but the fact that I feel like the future is so unsettled makes it feel like there’s a lot going on. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not upset that the future feels unsettled, I’ve come to find that more often than not this is how God works. I just am trying to figure out what to get excited about! It happens often that I get so excited for something to happen that I think will happen, and then it doesn’t happen and I’m disappointed. There have been so many ideas that have crossed my path in the last four years – study abroad opportunities, trips, internships, career paths, grad schools, culinary schools – that haven’t become reality, but every time I’ve been so sure “this is it – this is what I’m going to do next!” Maybe I’m experiencing the consequences of being an idealist. We have so many options and opportunities for the summer and for next year, and I’m trying to wait patiently to see which one of them God fleshes out, and I’m also trying not to get too excited about any one of them so as not to be disappointed.
We do know where we’ll be for at least the first 6 weeks after Caleb graduates. The day after graduation, we head up to Grand Marais, MN for Wilderness Leadership Training through a program called Coldwater. We will learn first aid, general outdoor skills, program skills (bible study lessons, etc.), and the like in order to lead spiritually focused youth group (and adult) trips to the Boundary Waters & other beautiful places. Though this is new for me, it’s something I’ve always wanted to do and I’m really excited to be pushed outside of my cozy little state of complacency. There’s a possibility that we will be up there the second half of the summer as well interning as youth pastors in a church that’s interested in incorporating wilderness ministry into their program, but this has yet to be set in stone. I’m just so excited for all of it, but I don’t often let myself think about it because I don’t want to over plan or wish away where I’m at right now. It’s such a hard balance to find – planning and thinking about the future and being content where you are in the present.