The White Pages

A Journey March 24, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — perfectlywhite @ 5:15 am

Off and on again since I was – oh a month old (well, it feels like it, I was probably more like 8 ) – I’ve dealt with varying degrees of anxiety.  I get so sick of saying I have “anxiety” because it ends up sounding routine, but it feels anything but routine.  I had a fantastic  conversation today that really gave me perspective on my fear.  The topic has been popping up a lot in our life lately, and I feel like it’s a good reminder of the tried and true Ecclesiastes passage “there’s a time for x and a time for y” (you can tell you’re a psych major when you start refering to Biblical passages using statistical symbols) addressing the ebb & flow of life.  We talked about “The dance of life”, how we must learn to create a rhthym balancing the blessing with the sorrows, how our questions don’t really get directly answered but are adressed through a processes of working out the answers, how everything is a process.  This is something I so often forget in our “have it your way…right now” world.  My computer takes longer than 10 seconds to open my e-mail and I complain about how slow it is (by the way, there’s a funny comedic piece our professor played for us in cultural anthropolgy that addresses this point called Everything is Amazing and Nobody’s Happy – minus the whole crappy generation part, I think it’s spot on).  I’m learning to slow down – to accept and even enjoy the process, the journey with all it’s twists, turns, downhill slopes, uphill climbs, and hidden surprises.  A mentor of mine asked me once if I’d rather drive through Nebraska – flat & dull but where I could see everything ahead of me, or mountainous Colorado where I may not know what was around the corner next, but the view I presently had was gorgeous.   You can catch the metaphor there.  Of course I would rather enjoy the road through the mountains.  I need to remember that God is good, steadfast, and faithful at every point in the journey regardless of my feelings, and that He uses the process to refine my character, my faith, and my love for Him and others.


One Response to “A Journey”

  1. Stephanie Says:

    I love this post…and I love you. I think more people need to see your writing. It is so true, this “have it your way right now” culture is driving me nuts!! It is almost impossible to find balance. I think I can celebrate the fact that I have a mountainous journey, who would want to live up to their expectations anyway?…you should pop over to my blog this week for gratitude week, being thankful for these type of things can be hard…you have such a good heart. 🙂

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