The White Pages

“I learned to slow down, and he learned to speed up!” August 13, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — perfectlywhite @ 5:31 pm
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These are wise words of compromise from a dear family member – it was her advice as I explained how Caleb and I have been learning to work together. I mean, we’ve been together for almost 7 years, been married for over a year – but we’ve never had to work together before. I take that back. We wrote a paper together last semester, for the one class we had together in college. Basically, I ended up writing the first half, he wrote the second. How’s that for avoiding cooperation?

It’s been our hope that we would be able to work together – in ministry or otherwise – for a long time. In theory, and most often in practice :), we make a really great team. We balance each other out in a lot of ways. But we are finding that said balance is not always completely even. We are currently going through a balancing act of sorts – taking a little weight from this side, adding it to the other – oh wait – that was too much, take a little bit back, take it back! I do things head on – quickly, efficiently, NOW – let’s just get it done. I also have 104 different avenues of thought intersecting in my brain at any given moment, can plan out an entire week without writing it down, and always know what little things need to get done if I have any downtime. I’m a global thinker and an idea person – and they come pouring out at random. Caleb works slowly, deliberately, and thoughtfully. He has a reason for doing what he’s doing, and he wants to make sure that thing gets completely done before he goes onto the next thing. There’s one avenue of thought and it’s very thorough. He doesn’t think 7 weeks into the future as I do, but concentrates on the moment. Things must be written down, organized, and walked through, step by step. He is a detail thinker – he starts with the small things and works up to the big picture.

So often lately I’ve been so frustrated with the S-L-O-W pace at which he does things (did that really need to take you two hours?!) and he’s been left with a spinning head and bruised ego as I whiz past him to do something my way – just to get it done. We’ve had a series of come to Jesus moments, learning to see the strengths in our differences and to appreciate the unique gifts we each bring to our relationship and to ministry. But oh, how easy it would be to continue on in our separate little worlds and never stop to really notice – really see – one another.

 

I’m a real boy! August 8, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — perfectlywhite @ 10:54 pm

So, over the last few weeks, Kari (now Car-ee, as she is being called in our new town) and I have felt like life is starting to slow down a little bit. Instead of running around, borrowing cars, wondering where/ who we would be staying with, we know that we will be moving very soon, and thus our residence will be constant; Deloris the Taurus (our ’94 green machine) is running- on a prayer, but running nontheless. Our job description is becoming a little more focused: fundraising and planning for what we want to do for youth group for the semester/ year- if you have any suggestions, tips, etc. let us know (respond to this post, call, text, facebook, anything really) we gladly welcome it! 🙂

So, in regards to the title of this post- I got it from the Pinocchio character from “Shrek” (I don’t remember which part) but he proudly proclaims, “I’m a real boy!” This has come to mind because I am beginning to realize where in life I am at. I have grraduated from college, I have been married for more than a year, and I am starting a job in the field I went to school for…a real job! It may sound strange, but it is finally starting to hit me! For the first time this summer, Kare and I have finally been able to sit down and think/ plan for this new adventure. I am yet to wrap my mind around the tasks and responsibilities that now come with this position. Lately, I have been scared of it. Scared that there are things I can’t handle, things I will forget, not having a plan- or even a clue of where to start, so on and so forth.
Kari has shared what she learned through our Coldwater summer about “functioning through fear”; what I learned was that I am afraid of failing- failing at anything. Thinking back through the last 7-8 years or so, my fear of failure has kept me from trying new things, kept me from maximizing my potential as a leader, and has probably stunted growth as a husband, friend, son, brother, and Christ-follower. So, with this new chapter in life, I have probably been a little slow in preparing because I am afraid- asking myself, “what if … doesn’t work?” “what if they don’t like me?”

I am comforted in the fact that I know we are supposed to be here; we have been led here and have gone with obedience, knowing fullly that we have been/ are/ and will continue to be provided for so long as we say, “Yes Lord…”

So, growing up, I’m finding, is hard; however, it is very exciting and we believe that God is going to work through us in ways we don’t even know.

Well, here’s to being “real” boys and girls!