These are wise words of compromise from a dear family member – it was her advice as I explained how Caleb and I have been learning to work together. I mean, we’ve been together for almost 7 years, been married for over a year – but we’ve never had to work together before. I take that back. We wrote a paper together last semester, for the one class we had together in college. Basically, I ended up writing the first half, he wrote the second. How’s that for avoiding cooperation?
It’s been our hope that we would be able to work together – in ministry or otherwise – for a long time. In theory, and most often in practice :), we make a really great team. We balance each other out in a lot of ways. But we are finding that said balance is not always completely even. We are currently going through a balancing act of sorts – taking a little weight from this side, adding it to the other – oh wait – that was too much, take a little bit back, take it back! I do things head on – quickly, efficiently, NOW – let’s just get it done. I also have 104 different avenues of thought intersecting in my brain at any given moment, can plan out an entire week without writing it down, and always know what little things need to get done if I have any downtime. I’m a global thinker and an idea person – and they come pouring out at random. Caleb works slowly, deliberately, and thoughtfully. He has a reason for doing what he’s doing, and he wants to make sure that thing gets completely done before he goes onto the next thing. There’s one avenue of thought and it’s very thorough. He doesn’t think 7 weeks into the future as I do, but concentrates on the moment. Things must be written down, organized, and walked through, step by step. He is a detail thinker – he starts with the small things and works up to the big picture.
So often lately I’ve been so frustrated with the S-L-O-W pace at which he does things (did that really need to take you two hours?!) and he’s been left with a spinning head and bruised ego as I whiz past him to do something my way – just to get it done. We’ve had a series of come to Jesus moments, learning to see the strengths in our differences and to appreciate the unique gifts we each bring to our relationship and to ministry. But oh, how easy it would be to continue on in our separate little worlds and never stop to really notice – really see – one another.