The White Pages

On Being Married February 25, 2013

Filed under: From My Heart — perfectlywhite @ 3:11 am

We have been married for almost five years. We have been together for almost ten years. And sometimes I have to remind myself how much I. Love. Caleb. It’s easy to forget. To not feel it. Some days are feel it days. Other days are choose it days.

Other things I’m learning from marriage:

You can be in a room together. Or. You can be. In a room. Together.

Sometimes I think I have Caleb figured out. And then I realize I don’t. People are complex and must be invested in fully to be learned and best loved. One layer understood reveals a whole new layer to understand. This takes conscious effort.

He can’t complete me. It really is a romantic notion, but it has never once helped a situation when I expect Caleb to heal my deep hurts or be the answer to my discontentment.

That being said, life makes more sense when we walk it together. “I can’t fix it for you, only God can do that. But, I will hold your hand and walk through it with you.” -17 year old Caleb White

Holding hands is important.

It’s always a good idea to voice the deep things you know about someone else. Being known is one of the more beautiful aspects of marriage.

The words “fair” and “marriage” are not helpful together. Sometimes it’s not fair. That’s what it means to give yourself.

For example, sometimes you have date plans. And sometimes you forget to put gas in the car even though your husband reminded you to, and sometimes you run out of gas with the kids in the car because you didn’t listen to your husband. Then your date plans are “ruined” and you are dramatic and say, “Date night is officially not happening!” And sometimes your husband is gentle and kind (even though if it was him that forgot the gas you would have been…not so gentle and kind) and reminds you from grace that it’s not the what that matters for date night, it’s the who. And sometimes you are glad that your husband is so very different than you, even though you sometimes get frustrated with him for it. This is all hypothetical, of course.

What are the important relationships in your life teaching you?


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